Do you project ideas of perfect lives, perfect relationships and professional success onto others based on their social identity? Just so you know - what people present to the world is mostly a facade. I’m pretty sure what you see, what you think and your perception of me is not me….it may be parts of me but it’s not the whole picture. That’s impossible to know through Instagram or Facebook.
I have plenty of snaggles that I’m working through - I don’t always love my body, I don’t always feel confident, I often think others know more then I do. I can get swept up in thoughts of how I’d like things to go rather than being in the present moment. I can be super critical and feel like I need to produce more, achieve more and that somehow in doing this I will then feel worthy. All of this future thinking creates an anxiety in my system, I feel the tightness and my breath gets shallow. When I orient myself in the present and get grounded I realize that I was caught up in projection mode. Then I turn my focus inward, I connect to my inherent self worth that is completely separate from what I “do.” From this place I can acknowledge what my gifts are, what makes me come alive and all the things that I love to do. I celebrate all that I am doing and stop projecting ideas of perfection into others. Being connected to a community of women has been instrumental in my self reflection. It has allowed me to see real people struggling with many of the same issues. Real life connection to real people in a safe container to share the vulnerable aspects of life.
Social media creates a discrepancy between what people are actually living behind closed doors and what it looks like from the outside world. When we come together in a circle, in a class, in learning environments the views of perfection get lifted and we see our humanity.
We are all in this together, that’s why there’s a billion dollar business out there telling us about how we could be better if we just bought some new clothes, or new face cream or ……. Let’s cut ourselves a break and notice when we get caught in the web of projection and judgement.
All bodies are beautiful and our worthiness isn’t something we can gain through the external world. It’s been with us all along, it’s inherent in our being. Appreciate yourself today, just as you are and not how you wish you were. Any step towards acceptance and compassion is a step towards repair.
If you want to connect with real women, in real time and in a safe container to share your vulnerable self - join me in Italy this summer. Awakening the Divine Feminine Retreat will be running Aug 22-28 in Casperia Italy.